I had been feeling a bit weak last night with my body feeling a bit stiff and heavy when I had a few friends over to celebrate the aftermath of my birthday. I was wondering whether I would be ok to be entertaining my friends when I am like this but I had a brilliant time despite one or two friends not being able to make it! My friend brought her Wii over for entertainment and I aced the bowling game! I got 5 strikes and won!!! Not bad for a beginner! We also watched X-factor and played UNO.
I hate my body feeling like that although, I never know how long it’s going to stay like that, and it can be a few days or up to two weeks. I don’t know what causes it. My mum thinks its stress when i'm worrying about something. I didn’t even wash my hands that much either when I had my friends over! There’s something about having friends over or seeing my friends that makes me a bit more relaxed about things. I don’t know why I can’t feel like that when I’m alone or when I’m with my family, maybe it’s because my friends don’t fully know how bad I can be with my OCD and I don’t worry about them snapping at me about it like my family do at times.
It was nice to have a relaxed evening and enjoy myself.
The only bad thing was yo yo ing to get up and play on the Wii and get drinks etc because it takes quite an effort to get out of seat when I’m stiff and heavy. I just feel like a dead weight when I’m trying to get up, my legs can feel incredibly weak and could easily give way if I didnt eventually get on my feet or sit back down again! It can be quite a worry for my mum when I’m like this because she worries whether my legs will give way when I’m going upstairs or in the bath and knock myself out.
I wonder if I’ll ever be able to live independently if I can’t cope with living on my own because it seems to me at the moment I always need someone around to help me with things.